


Just A Crush

by alafaye



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 07:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack wants to know something. Angst; set after "Countrycide".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [love bingo](http://alafaye.livejournal.com/337489.html) and the prompt "Judas kiss". Plot inspiration belongs to LJ's jo02.

Jack cornered Ianto the week after the cannibals. In the archives, at the back of one of the dozen rooms that had no exit point. To either side and behind, there were only bookshelves with files. In front was Jack. Ianto lifted his head. "Sir?"

Jack smiled nervously and put his hands in his pockets. "I know that I shouldn't be cornering any of you, right now, but I didn't want you to duck and avoid me."

Ianto tightened his hold on the file in his hands and widened his legs a bit. He took a deep breath. "Avoid what?"

"This conversation," Jack replied. He took a deep breath. "The kiss."

Ianto swore under his breath. That stupid game. "Alright. What about the kiss?"

"Well, that depends," Jack started, slow and patient. "There was ours, yours and mine. And then there was Lisa's."

Ianto's nerves urged him to go somewhere, anywhere, to avoid this. Jack had been right about that. Ianto took a deep breath. "Do we have to talk about it?"

Jack looked nervous, almost skittish. Out of his usual comfort zone. "I suppose we don't have to, but I'd like to. I mean," Jack half smiled, roguishly. "I like kissing you. In more than just a death situation. I just get the feeling that our kisses were..."

"A Judas kiss?" Ianto offered, unable to stop the offer. It was his usual action, after all, one he had carefully cultivated in order to go unnoticed and unremarkable.

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Stop that." He sighed. "But yeah, I suppose. Didn't feel like it at the time, but after you said...well, can't fault a guy for feeling betrayed."

Ianto took a deep breath. "I...am sorry, sir." He looked up, straight into Jack's eyes. "I did enjoy kissing you, but I did feel like every time, I was betraying her. Betraying my promise to her."

Jack looked shattered. He chuckled darkly. "So this is what that feels like. You know, I've never been betrayed like this by anyone I really--well."

Ianto's heart dropped to somewhere by his feet, seeing Jack like this. He had spent enough time studying Torchwood Three, the people who worked there, before he'd ever approached Jack. This wasn't Jack playing Ianto; this was Jack, open and honest. And Ianto had done that. It was an odd feeling and one Ianto was not familiar with in his short years alive. He was a monogamous sort and had never had any of his girlfriends cheat on him. Nor had any of them ever told him that it was fun, but it was only that and nothing more.

Ianto decided he didn't want to feel like that and didn't like causing those feelings in anyone else.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said quietly.

Jack put his hands in his pockets. "Sorry?"

Ianto nodded. "Yes. I am. I shouldn't have done it."

"Then why did you?" Jack asked, something bruised leaking into his words.

"To keep you from finding Lisa," Ianto explained hollowly.

"It was a game," Jack muttered. "You played me in the only language I knew well enough. You know, I didn't think people in this century were capable of that sort of thing."

Ianto smiled tightly. "Sexually distracting or playing someone else to gain information has been around for a very long time. We just don't like to discuss it because sex isn't proper."

Jack chuckled. "Oh, you people and your ideas about sex."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Jack."

Jack sobered quickly. "So where does that leave us?"

Ianto shrugged helplessly. "I don't know."

Jack scrubbed his face with his hands. "Right. Thank you for your honesty at least. I--team meeting, upstairs, in an hour. There was a rift spike."

With a tight smile, Jack left the archives. Ianto fell back against the bookshelf and closed his eyes, feeling weaker than he had last week against the cannibals. Nothing resolved, nothing gained. Sometimes, the truth hurt. 

God, did it hurt.

And Ianto found himself done with truth for while. There had been too much of it since he'd joined Torchwood. So he closed his mind and heart and emotions. He put the file on the shelf and left the archives with a quick straightening of tie. Later, he promised. He would sort it out with Jack. Later.

After a quick break from emotions and truth. First, there was something potentially nasty to deal. Which was perfect for right now.


End file.
